And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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