Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
