Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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