just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize