He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize