He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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