I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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