drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
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