Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
