so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
They have beer where we have blood.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
