I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
