Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I pour the whiskey from now on
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
