the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Randomize
