oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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