Im at strip club and am horny
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize