I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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