then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
