Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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