i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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