its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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