The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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