I want to stick my p in your. b.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
