i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Your penis caused this!
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
