I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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