i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
