now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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