I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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