I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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