school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
