i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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