Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
