Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
