I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
