We're like a lot better than the average bears
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
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