You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
