so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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