i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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