i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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