Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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