You're completely useless in the revolution.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
