You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
