Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize
