I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
