I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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