He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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