Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
i need to put some appletini on your dick
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
