fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
