I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
operation have a gay friend backfired
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Randomize
