Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
