Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
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Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
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Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.