Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
