I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
