His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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