TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Houston, we have a squirter
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
