last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
