I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
