id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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