Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
