I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
