Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
The air was thick with penises
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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