it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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